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For a while I’ve been pondering starting a new blog, with a slightly different angle. There are so many great bloggers out there writing about their experiences in counselling and therapy, I thought it would be nice to create a place to bring all that great material together. The concept is this; a site to…

I’m not like them

The morning arrives once more to animate me it pushes in, uninvited and drags me into another day of compliance sitting and waiting and creating nothing while plagued with small talk politeness at best phony concern or voyeuristic interest at worst Chemicals make it vaguely tolerable, but there’s never enough Because I am not like…

We’ve reached the other side

Christmas has been and gone and I am relieved. All that horrendous, over-hyped build up came to its usual disappointing crescendo and instantly faded in the customary anti-climax by the afternoon of the 25th. I had thoroughly de-Christmassed my house by lunchtime on Boxing Day. That’s all very cynical, but I think being a grinch…

A lifetime of shame

I want the picture back the way it was before I landed where I’m stuck here on the floor World spinning mind swimming I might be face down but I won’t stay down and let the loneliness drown me in melancholy There’s nothing funny here nothing good about this fear all consuming there’s just no…

What does your writing say about you?

When we sit down to write, we all have a vague idea of what we’re trying to say. But what does the way you write say about your personality? You can find out… My day job is at a psychometrics firm. We create and deliver people assessments for recruitment and development. This includes a lot of…

I need to stop hiding

Therapy lately has been a huge challenge. Not long ago, I would write a post after almost every session. It’s been months since I’ve done that and I’m not entirely sure why. After my abuser became a father, I didn’t know what to do or how to be. I couldn’t figure out how to process…

Thank you

A year ago, I wrote my first post on this blog. I had no idea back then how important blogging would become in my life. I couldn’t have anticipated how much this community would one day mean to me. This space allows me to breathe. It is so valuable to have a place where I can…

I am still here

I’ve been scared of this blank page it stares accusingly at me asking why I’ve neglected the space the room to breathe that it offers It wants me to open my mind and let my fingers tell their secrets spilling my soul into the empty space and calling out to anyone who wanders by I…

I will never be ready

When I awoke today there were long shadows Accompanying my footsteps they followed me into the cool morning. Patches of crystals here and there revealed how the frost had caressed the grass secretly overnight. Just as for many months those cold tendrils have crept into my sleep, Bringing echoes of the unsaid to reverberate in…

Writing about not writing

Yeah it’s an odd choice of title. Maybe I am just so much of a hipster that I’ve inadvertently become ironic. Who knows. But I couldn’t write tonight. So, ever the problem solver, I thought I would write about not writing. Throughout the past year, writing has been a lifeline for me. In my day…

Passenger

Sitting small, holding the pieces as I rush through our life She’s along for the ride my silent passenger Jealously watching as I ignore her and forget willfully her fallibility and imperfections Her green eyes wishing she’d learned to break before me Longing for a different story, a narrative rewritten with self upheld Instead of…

First steps

Tiny sparkles of afterlife are intruding in this bleak solitude and they are so alien I almost resist them because I’ve somehow forgotten what it means to be in this life here and now without fear free from anger or grief Just to realise that in this moment I am living and changing Maybe inertia…