Therapy resumed and everything got worse

I wrote a few days ago about the crushing sense of overwhelm I’m feeling at the moment. My wife and I went away for a few days at the weekend, which was much needed. We just headed down to the coast and camped for a few days. It was hot and sunny and the camp…

A lot to handle in a week

It feels as though I have dragged myself through this week. I was so relieved to walk out of the office this afternoon and know that I don’t have to pretend to be normal or competent for the next couple of days. I feel like keeping it together at work is slowly starting to kill…

Some good news

I think I am possibly the only person who can be given a pay rise and not feel good about it. Today I got a salary increase, and my annual bonus was decent enough. It’s not that I’m greedy and was hoping for a whole lot more. I just didn’t feel happy about it. At…

Therapy is getting too hard

I’ve never felt as anti-therapy as I do at the moment. My session with J went so badly on Tuesday that I cancelled the rest of my sessions for this week. I thought that feeling might settle down after a few days but it’s still hanging around. Usually, I look forward to therapy. I like…

Impending family visit. Help.

My week is panning out to be full on and I’m not coping well with that idea. A few days ago I wrote about needing to fill time in order to avoid sinking into dark and destructive thoughts. The problem is, I’m running out of energy and now I am faced with a load of…

I made my therapist want to growl

Those were her words, not mine. Apparently I frustrated J to the point that she wanted to growl at me today. It’s been a damp, grey, gloomy day and I just felt like hiding. I was withdrawn and kept myself distant from her. And she didn’t appreciate it. Basically, I feel really overwhelmed. These are…

Not coping

I feel like I’ve started on a downward spiral again. I’m away on holiday, so I can’t understand why I feel so desperately low. I hate myself.  I have no cause to complain, but that makes me feel even worse. Talk about first world problems. I think maybe I was pushing hard to get through Christmas….