55 days sober

One day I won’t feel the need to do this ridiculous counting anymore. For now, I know I need to count, to reinforce how many days I have dragged myself through without using alcohol. It isn’t a pat-on-the-back thing. I don’t feel as though I’ve achieved anything other than keeping myself alive lately. And most…

35 days sober

And so the counting continues. When I got to 100 days a while ago, I thought I could begin to move beyond the ‘one day at a time’ mentality. But as soon as I thought I’d cracked it, I went and had a drink. It’s probably self-sabotage, but there were a number of other factors…

100 days sober

Today is my 100th day of sobriety. I feel like crap, but I want to mark the milestone. I painted this bird and a few other bits and pieces this weekend, so I guess they can be commemorative. This is the longest I have been sober in years. And gradually, ever so gradually, not drinking is…

I’m in Amsterdam

Now I’m back at work and behaving like a semi-normal human being I am travelling again. They’ve sent me to Amsterdam this week. I am under orders from everyone at home to be on my best behaviour. That means not using the opportunity of time alone to drink or harm myself. It’s a big ask….

80 days sober

The last few weeks have really tested my commitment to sobriety. I’ve come really close on several occasions to throwing it all away. Walking home from my therapist’s house is the most dangerous time for me. I know how soothing hard liquor feels when you’re emotionally drained. I’m drawn to the warmth of it, nothing…

16 Days sober

A short while ago I had a major relapse. By ‘relapse’ I mean I drank half a litre of vodka, took a lot of pills and landed myself in hospital. So I was back to square one with the whole sobriety effort. I’ve been sober for just over two weeks. I’ve even resisted the always alluring…