Advice please: How do you parent yourself?

Can you offer advice on how I can parent my inner child? Lots of you write about this, and I know its something a lot of survivors of abuse and neglect struggle with. When you’re so deeply wounded as a little one, its no wonder taking care of that younger part is such a challenge….

Therapy today: It wasn’t fun.

Therapy is never fun. Sometimes J and I do have these brief moments of shared laughter, but on the whole it isn’t enjoyable. I suppose it isn’t meant to be, but my session today seemed to have a load of extra un-fun. I guess I might have anticipated it wouldn’t be great, because while walking…

Mutual assured destruction

It popped into my head earlier today; the concept of mutual assured destruction (also called MAD). After I finished my BA in English, I took a new direction and got an MSc in Politics. One of the modules on that course looked at nuclear weapons. The main discussion was around whether they keep the peace…

Those things

A hundred and twenty three words the sum of my suffering On scrappy paper scribbled in anaemic biro A watery message without courage He couldn’t even write what he did to me The vast tectonic impact of that rupture in my childhood and the nightmare of now His crime distilled Reduced down to vague words,…

Therapy today: Christmasphobia and shame

I once had a therapist who introduced me to the concept of ‘shame attacks’. She was exuberant and expressive, her group sessions were educational and always full of energy. I was fond of her, and I often think of her when I feel crippled by shame. After my last session with J, I’ve experienced quite…

Therapy today: Finally speaking the unspeakable

I don’t feel proud of myself very often these days. But I do today. I took a huge step in my therapy session; in trusting and in letting myself be vulnerable. A month or so ago I wrote down a first person narrative account of the sexual abuse I experienced at the hands of my…