Risking controversy, I’m going to be brutally honest and admit that I often wish I’d been abused by a celebrity. Or a teacher. Or at least a stranger. I’m not belittling anyone else’s experience. Really I’m not. It’s horrific to be sexually abused by anyone. Full stop. It isn’t easier or harder because you do…
Tag: shame
An intruder in therapy
Towards the end of my session with J today, someone walked right up her driveway and seemed to be heading toward the room she sees me in. I know this, because the room has a lot of windows. Which in the past I always liked, because I could look out at the trees and sky…
The moment it all changed
Once, the edges of the world melted and merged And the corners scurried away, afraid to even attempt containing what sat between them. Where there had been substance, memories soaked up the space like saturated paper growing fibrous and faint. Even the ground couldn’t stand to watch, Because it knew its concrete heart would break…
Seething self-hatred. I did it again.
I am full of guilt and self-loathing because, yet again, I couldn’t resist the urge to ‘act out’. I feel like a total f**king moron; a self-obsessed, pathetic failure. There are so many people who go through struggles in life without resorting to the kind of melodramatics I displayed on Tuesday. My new meds are…
Therapists and hugging
I am big on hugs. I’ve always loved hugging people. I’m indiscriminate about it, because everyone needs them, and the benefit goes both ways. And if someone isn’t a hugger, they’ll just say no to the hug and that isn’t so bad. I always try and make time to stop and talk to homeless people, pass…
‘Exploring each other’s bodies’
Those are the words our family doctor used to describe what my mum reported to her. My mum went to her for help because she’d just discovered her 16 year old son had been sexually abusing her 11 year old daughter. She and my dad asked me a lot of impossibly difficult questions before going…
blackspotsite 