I am sorry

I’m sorry I’m not truthful. I’m sorry I hide things and lie to protect my destructive behaviour. I’m sorry I am wasting my life. I’m sorry I feel no gratitude for the privileges I live with purely by chance. I’m sorry I can see time passing me by and I do nothing to use it….

Therapy today: Being sad together

This morning I worked at home. I had an appointment with my doctor and that was a good excuse to hide from people for most of the day. A horrible dream last night left me with a load of crappy residual feelings that I’ve not been able to shake off. I dreamed that my sister…

I sang a song for you

In a complete departure from my usual blog fodder, I thought I’d share something totally different today. I sang a song for you. I chose this song because it’s about holding it all together and failing and getting back up again. Most of the people I interact with in the blog universe know how that…

To the little one I lost

I loved you when you were only a clump of cells. When she told me about you, I couldn’t help but feel excited. I knew your chances were slim, but I hoped for you. I couldn’t push her when she made her decision. It wasn’t my choice to make. But I want you to know…

Falling for tomorrow

I know how it feels to take a fall I know what it is to lose it all When the walls are closing in There’s no simple way to win So my night is day is night And every step’s a fight Please don’t say I can’t rewrite What’s gone down in black and white…

Today’s soundtrack: Remains

If you haven’t listened to Bastille, you really should. The vocals are raw and the lyrics have so much impact. Tonight this song hit me right in the stomach. I thought I was doing OK. I’ve been keeping myself so busy. Ignoring the fact that I’ve got a miserable cold and I should really rest; I’ve cleaned…