If you could ask your therapist anything, what would it be?

J challenged me in therapy today. She started with the eating thing again (Tuesday’s session explained here). She asked me when I will stop starving myself. She said she was worried about ‘where this is heading’. She went into her ‘duty of care’ spiel and talked about our ‘contract’ (a vague verbal agreement about our…

A much needed break

On Friday I had a heavy overdose of family. My sister was visiting from Germany with her fiancé who I hadn’t yet met. We headed down to the coast to take my grandma out for the day as an overdue celebration of her 80th birthday. Given that in the past week I have struggled more…

Therapy today: The unfamiliar familiar

The first therapy session after a break is always weird for me. It amazes me how quickly I can remove myself from the established routine of going to therapy; the conventions of the interaction, the familiarity of how the whole thing works. After just two weeks away from the process, it feels unusual and somewhat uncomfortable….

The start of another therapy break. Ouch.

Yesterday I had my last session with J before her holiday. She will be away for two weeks. That means I will miss six sessions. It doesn’t sound like much when I write that, but it feels like a dark chasm has just opened up ahead of me. The thing about therapy is that it…

Therapists and hugging

I am big on hugs. I’ve always loved hugging people. I’m indiscriminate about it, because everyone needs them, and the benefit goes both ways. And if someone isn’t a hugger, they’ll just say no to the hug and that isn’t so bad. I always try and make time to stop and talk to homeless people, pass…

Therapy is getting too hard

I’ve never felt as anti-therapy as I do at the moment. My session with J went so badly on Tuesday that I cancelled the rest of my sessions for this week. I thought that feeling might settle down after a few days but it’s still hanging around. Usually, I look forward to therapy. I like…