A much needed break

On Friday I had a heavy overdose of family. My sister was visiting from Germany with her fiancé who I hadn’t yet met. We headed down to the coast to take my grandma out for the day as an overdue celebration of her 80th birthday. Given that in the past week I have struggled more…

Therapy today: The unfamiliar familiar

The first therapy session after a break is always weird for me. It amazes me how quickly I can remove myself from the established routine of going to therapy; the conventions of the interaction, the familiarity of how the whole thing works. After just two weeks away from the process, it feels unusual and somewhat uncomfortable….

The start of another therapy break. Ouch.

Yesterday I had my last session with J before her holiday. She will be away for two weeks. That means I will miss six sessions. It doesn’t sound like much when I write that, but it feels like a dark chasm has just opened up ahead of me. The thing about therapy is that it…

Therapists and hugging

I am big on hugs. I’ve always loved hugging people. I’m indiscriminate about it, because everyone needs them, and the benefit goes both ways. And if someone isn’t a hugger, they’ll just say no to the hug and that isn’t so bad. I always try and make time to stop and talk to homeless people, pass…

Therapy is getting too hard

I’ve never felt as anti-therapy as I do at the moment. My session with J went so badly on Tuesday that I cancelled the rest of my sessions for this week. I thought that feeling might settle down after a few days but it’s still hanging around. Usually, I look forward to therapy. I like…

Your gift

This precious gift you offer shouldn’t feel like a sacrifice because it nurtures me carrying me through all those slow hours of every day It bathes me in a warmth so deep and intense and simultaneously, unwaveringly secure I am alert, always to what it costs me Because you make me want to hold on…