It’s been a while since I had this lightbulb moment when I recognised that my self destructive behaviour has a big payoff. It makes me feel like people care about me. That sounds pretty messed up doesn’t it? I have plenty of people in my life who love me. I know this, but I don’t…
Tag: Psychotherapy
45 Days sober. The anxiety is hell.
A few weeks ago, my goal of 90 days sober felt incredibly ambitious. So it’s good to stop and recognise today that I am half way there. That’s a big deal. It isn’t like the past 45 days have been easy. I’ve wanted alcohol at some point during each and every one. Some days that…
Emotional hangover
I’ve been finding it difficult to start writing recently. That’s not because I have nothing to say. I think I’ve just shut down and cut off. That felt like the best way to get through Christmas, and it also often happens when I’ve got a therapy break. I have an unsettling sense that I’m only…
Re-engaging with therapy
Today I had my first therapy session since trying to kill myself almost two weeks ago. I had an anxious mix of fear and anticipation fluttering in my stomach all morning. Part of me was worried J might be angry with me or disappointed, while the other part has been desperate to talk to her…
Do you write about therapy? Become a contributor!
For a while I’ve been pondering starting a new blog, with a slightly different angle. There are so many great bloggers out there writing about their experiences in counselling and therapy, I thought it would be nice to create a place to bring all that great material together. The concept is this; a site to…
Therapy is cancelled. I’m writing instead.
I cancelled therapy today. I know that’s not productive and that the only way I’m going to feel better about my relationship with my therapist is to go and discuss it with her. But I don’t want to see her at the moment, I am feeling very hurt and the result is that I want…
blackspotsite 