What does your writing say about you?

When we sit down to write, we all have a vague idea of what we’re trying to say. But what does the way you write say about your personality? You can find out… My day job is at a psychometrics firm. We create and deliver people assessments for recruitment and development. This includes a lot of…

EMDR Session 4: I can’t do this

Although I wish it wouldn’t, Monday inevitably comes around and I have to drag myself to EMDR. This morning I just wanted to run away. Driving to the clinic, I felt sick with nerves. I arrived early and waited in my car for a while. That made everything feel worse. It took a lot of…

EMDR Session 3: Closing the door

Monday means EMDR. It’s become a regular fixture of dread in my schedule. Although my therapy sessions with J are often tough, I rarely hate the idea of going there. But EMDR is different. It is gruelling and painful. There’s not much room for humour or to share the lighter moments in life. Today Dr…

4 Reasons I hate antidepressants

Here’s a post for the medicated many out there. I know a fair few of my readers can empathise with how crappy it is taking antidepressants. These drugs change you. They alter how your brain chemistry operates and that’s pretty scary right? Before my breakdown, I was totally against them. And although I’m on five kinds…

Do you have death anxiety?

I like Irvin Yalom. He seems like a good guy. I know every therapist I’ve ever spoken to adores him. After doing therapy for a while now, I can see the benefit of his common sense approach, based on empathy and being genuine. I’ve been reading Yalom’s ‘Creatures of a Day’. I don’t like it…

Therapy: I’ve changed, but what’s better?

We live in a ROI culture. Everyone wants to know what bang they’re getting for their buck. I’m not a therapist, but my experience of being in therapy has taught me that there are seldom quick returns. There are few immediate interventions that will yield any clear short-term results. My journey continues to wind its…

What is dissociation?

A lot of trauma survivors suffer from dissociation, but you don’t hear people talking about it much. There even seems to be an absence of understanding among therapists, which I have seen first-hand on more than one occasion. I remember one specific group session in hospital, in which a woman completely dissociated. The experienced and…

Therapy today: Still regrouping

Last night I got some real soul nourishment. We met up with friends and saw a show in the West End. It was hilarious and uplifting. And it was so good to meet up with those guys. They are friends I made in hospital and I love that after being in group together every day…

A new diagnosis: What does BPD mean to me?

I’ve been to see my new psychiatrist. There were two doctors and they did a huge, comprehensive assessment with me that included a lot of grilling and difficult questions. I was relieved that they were both quite personable and really listened to what I had to say. They then went away to discuss me, and…