A letter I’m sending to my psychiatrist

Dear Dr L I am writing to inform you that I wish to be discharged from your care. I will not be attending my planned appointment on 13th July. After our last meeting I was very upset. I felt that you didn’t listen to me and didn’t give me the opportunity to explain what was…

“I think you enjoy feeling suicidal”

That’s what my psychiatrist said to me today. He hypothesised that I don’t help myself out of a dark place when I am there because I like being there. This from a man who has probably spent a total of about 10 hours with me in the past year. I was anxious about meeting with…

Coming off antidepressants

Last week I saw my psychiatrist and finally won the argument on antidepressants. I’ve wanted to reduce them for quite some months now, but have always been talked out of it by the people who supposedly know better. While I am confident they understand how the drugs work and their interactions, I’m not so sure…

Little Laura wasn’t tough. She was disturbed.

A few days ago I wrote about remembering harming myself as a child. I was in a therapy session, talking to J about self-harm and how it often emerges in adolescence. It suddenly dawned on me that I self-harmed long before I knew what it was. That was a shocking recollection. It’s left me feeling anxious…

4 Reasons I hate antidepressants

Here’s a post for the medicated many out there. I know a fair few of my readers can empathise with how crappy it is taking antidepressants. These drugs change you. They alter how your brain chemistry operates and that’s pretty scary right? Before my breakdown, I was totally against them. And although I’m on five kinds…

My stubborn psychiatrist

It seems that any new doctor wants to put his/her stamp on a person’s treatment. They don’t like just carrying on the same. A Dutch colleague of mine refers to this as ‘pissing on’ things. Our CEO likes to ‘piss on’ everything at work, marking it as his territory even if he knows nothing about…

A new diagnosis: What does BPD mean to me?

I’ve been to see my new psychiatrist. There were two doctors and they did a huge, comprehensive assessment with me that included a lot of grilling and difficult questions. I was relieved that they were both quite personable and really listened to what I had to say. They then went away to discuss me, and…