Nostalgic for a place where my pain belonged

In the past few weeks, I’ve felt like each time the spring sunshine warmed me, it also drenched me in nostalgia. Fewer words more aptly describe a feeling than this one. Nostalgia is about more than recollection; it is about the bittersweet nature of specific memories. I’m nerdy about language, so out of curiosity I…

It’s so hard to be honest

I read this great post from my friend Samantha Jane at both sides of the wall this morning. She highlighted something I hadn’t thought a lot about but totally agree with. She was asking why it is so hard for us to admit that we were victims of sexual abuse. It struck a chord with…

NHS psychiatric care: Trying to keep an open mind

I woke up feeling OK about the week ahead, despite having a lot of anxious dreams that have disturbed my sleep the last two nights. I’m used to feeling tired now, that’s been going on for months. On the plus side, the sun was shining this morning for my walk. While I enjoyed all the…

Therapy today: Asking for help

I was looking forward to my therapy session today. I have missed having that breathing space available and I’ve missed my therapist. It’s not that I just miss talking to her, I miss knowing she is there if things go wrong. She’s talked me out of a self-destructive spiral a few times in the past…

The apple never falls far from the tree

I was out walking yesterday and I trod on a rancid fallen pear. My instinct wasn’t to look down at the offending fruit, but to look up accusingly at the branches of the tree it came from. It made me think of the old saying about how the apple (or in this case, pear) never…