The moment it all changed

Once, the edges of the world melted and merged And the corners scurried away, afraid to even attempt containing what sat between them. Where there had been substance, memories soaked up the space like saturated paper growing fibrous and faint. Even the ground couldn’t stand to watch, Because it knew its concrete heart would break…

It was never mine

Your words are transparent, in ordered lines they run with a simple message. But still I peer into their depths to find it there. Alone. The spark of your anguish. Although it stings through my thin tears, I have to watch it flicker and against my instinct leave it there, undisturbed. Because the cold truth…

Falling for tomorrow

I know how it feels to take a fall I know what it is to lose it all When the walls are closing in There’s no simple way to win So my night is day is night And every step’s a fight Please don’t say I can’t rewrite What’s gone down in black and white…

I will soar

Perched, precarious rushing for land or horizon A generous, cold embrace for anyone anything encountered. Pure power, surging, guttural The resolution is fraught with violent potential In a frantic search for some minute fissure Through which to pour that sliding inevitable Once it creeps, finally in motion I will soar. Photo: GollyGforce, Creative Commons.

Enough

Adrift in the unsaid my vision lacks the depth to pierce the gloom and discover what might be enough. This monotonous fight leaves me coiled in the cyclical silence anticipating the moment I draw the line and realise I have swallowed enough. Anger, grief, shame and love what could ever calm that raging tempest? I…

Passenger

Sitting small, holding the pieces as I rush through our life She’s along for the ride my silent passenger Jealously watching as I ignore her and forget willfully her fallibility and imperfections Her green eyes wishing she’d learned to break before me Longing for a different story, a narrative rewritten with self upheld Instead of…

First steps

Tiny sparkles of afterlife are intruding in this bleak solitude and they are so alien I almost resist them because I’ve somehow forgotten what it means to be in this life here and now without fear free from anger or grief Just to realise that in this moment I am living and changing Maybe inertia…

It will pass

There’s a small fragment vulnerable, delicate In an adult voice, I reassure myself she won’t be abandoned this time There’s guilt, shame, sadness that touches everything loved and I have to tell myself that none of it is my fault There’s pain, powerful, enigmatic that threatens to submerge if I don’t remind myself I can…

I will always be gentle

I plant my feet on the border I am held in between I strive to look forward I will see the horizon I hear those good intentions and I strain to disseminate I am not worthless I can make a difference I am not to blame so I must forgive myself I float among kind…

Those things

A hundred and twenty three words the sum of my suffering On scrappy paper scribbled in anaemic biro A watery message without courage He couldn’t even write what he did to me The vast tectonic impact of that rupture in my childhood and the nightmare of now His crime distilled Reduced down to vague words,…

My imperfect words

I can only give you my imperfect words distorted from frail letters that I engineer without integrity into crumbling steps. I am not the editor and they are all I have alternating back and forth driving direction or none taunting me by braving new territory then dissolving into blankness. There is no space to bloom…

October

Muted smears denote an insipid pause A nebulous calm swirls into every crevasse The hours are fewer but nothing else changes Still the days creep laced with soporific stillness.