Insecurity and another therapy disaster

I’m listening to a hefty thunderstorm as I type this. It’s the middle of the night. I’m wrapped in a blanket on my sofa, with my dog asleep in my lap. She came to me for protection from the storm. It’s nice to be able to give her that. I love that she seeks me…

The verdict

My wife’s uncle was convicted of child sexual abuse this week. He was tried on three counts and convicted on two of them. Yesterday he was sent to prison for 6 years. I didn’t know him well. He’s a reclusive alcoholic and I first met him when he was critically ill in intensive care. Everyone…

Therapy resumed and everything got worse

I wrote a few days ago about the crushing sense of overwhelm I’m feeling at the moment. My wife and I went away for a few days at the weekend, which was much needed. We just headed down to the coast and camped for a few days. It was hot and sunny and the camp…

Tiny vegetables

Random post tonight. I’ve had a rough week, but it was made better by the appearance of little baby vegetables in my garden. I always get so excited when the plants I’ve tended for months start to produce flowers and fruit. Tiny beans, cucumbers, butternut squash, tomatoes and courgettes are all sprouting… I also shared…

I am sinking

I’m approaching breaking point. I need to write. To share. To feel heard and held. I am so full of everything, there is hardly any space left for air to get into my lungs. I don’t want this sensation. I have this odd sense that if I vomited I would feel better. There’s a toxic…

The death of a friendship

It’s day 1 of the therapy break and I’m already feeling J’s absence. It was a tough weekend, and even tougher because I knew I wasn’t going to have therapy today. I know I’ll survive, but I can’t help feeling daunted by the prospect of two weeks without seeing J. The weekend brought some big…