High

In this moment My eyes are open and I can see so much more It’s coming in I’m letting it in I imagine my little niece laughing the force of joy that creases her face and her warmth filters into my heart I picture my wife’s early morning eyes focused so completely on mine and…

I’m back on medication. Hooray.

I’ve had to back down on my hard line ‘no meds’ policy and ask my GP to write me up for something to help my anxiety. After weeks of averaging about 3 hours sleep per night and struggling with extreme agitation in the evenings, it was hard to argue that it wasn’t needed. My moods…

Defeated in my quest to be drug free

Yesterday I had to admit defeat and go on new antidepressants. It’s not something I wanted and I feel deeply disappointed that I couldn’t manage without them. So today I have begun another cycle of side effects and dose increases and wondering whether any of it is working. I stopped taking Mirtazipine at the start…

Choices: Any advice on Vortioxetine / Brintellix?

Quick question; does anyone have any experience with Vortioxetine? It’s also known as Brintellix, and Trintellix. God knows why they give antidepressants such ridiculous names. I almost want to avoid it purely for the fact that they’ve tried to make it sound bright and shiny… I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and he seems to be…

Being unmedicated: The lesser of two evils

It’s been almost eight weeks since I stopped taking my antidepressants. I didn’t go cold turkey, I tapered them off gradually over a period of several months. A year ago, I was taking a ton of medication: Sertraline and Mirtazipine, two kinds of antidepressants. Pregabalin, an anti-epileptic drug that has a heavy sedating effect Quetiapine,…

Coming off antidepressants

Last week I saw my psychiatrist and finally won the argument on antidepressants. I’ve wanted to reduce them for quite some months now, but have always been talked out of it by the people who supposedly know better. While I am confident they understand how the drugs work and their interactions, I’m not so sure…

Drugs: Confronting my psychiatrist

I am always somewhat combative when I go to a meet with my psychiatrist. He’s a nice enough chap. He seems pretty genuine and he listens to what I’ve got to say. My first objection to the meetings is the formula they follow. There’s never a great deal of time, so I sit down on…

4 Reasons I hate antidepressants

Here’s a post for the medicated many out there. I know a fair few of my readers can empathise with how crappy it is taking antidepressants. These drugs change you. They alter how your brain chemistry operates and that’s pretty scary right? Before my breakdown, I was totally against them. And although I’m on five kinds…

My stubborn psychiatrist

It seems that any new doctor wants to put his/her stamp on a person’s treatment. They don’t like just carrying on the same. A Dutch colleague of mine refers to this as ‘pissing on’ things. Our CEO likes to ‘piss on’ everything at work, marking it as his territory even if he knows nothing about…