Is unconditional love a myth?

It’s amazing how fast I can get used to doing nothing. I thought that not having to work would make time move more slowly this week, but it actually hasn’t been too bad. Perhaps I really did need to take the time off, because I haven’t been bored. Having nothing to do has felt OK….

Can I wait?

Today I am the eye of the storm. A powerful whirlwind of debris and chaos circumvents me. And I am stood, motionless in the middle. I’m planted in this place of inert observation. It’s not possible to stop the force, and I hold myself back from stepping into it. With my feet planted firmly on…

I am sinking

I’m approaching breaking point. I need to write. To share. To feel heard and held. I am so full of everything, there is hardly any space left for air to get into my lungs. I don’t want this sensation. I have this odd sense that if I vomited I would feel better. There’s a toxic…

A lot to handle in a week

It feels as though I have dragged myself through this week. I was so relieved to walk out of the office this afternoon and know that I don’t have to pretend to be normal or competent for the next couple of days. I feel like keeping it together at work is slowly starting to kill…

Black sheep

As far back as primary school I remember having a sense of otherness. It started with being from an ‘alternative’ sort of family. My parents and their friends are mostly musicians. And my mum was always a bit of a hippy. I never lived it down when she spent a summer collecting me from school barefoot….

Today I learned how good it can feel to cry

This morning I experienced a powerful and moving CoDA meeting. I cried, without shame, in front of a group of people. That has literally never happened to me before. Particularly with this specific sadness, a sadness I have never been able to openly and comfortably share with anybody. Working the CoDA (Codependents Anonymous – more…