I’m holding it together but it’s taking every ounce of strength. It shouldn’t be a surprise that fighting is harder than defeat. Every tiny step forward is a leap of faith, as I push on into the unknown. I’m doing it. The things they’ve all been telling me to do for years now. Some courage…
Tag: Love
Goodbye old friend
The death of a pet is horribly painful, and tonight I am feeling that heavy grief. My mum called this evening to tell me our family dog died today. If you don’t own a pet, then it’s likely you won’t understand what it is to love an animal as part of your family. This daft…
I don’t believe you’ll care if I’m OK
It’s been a while since I had this lightbulb moment when I recognised that my self destructive behaviour has a big payoff. It makes me feel like people care about me. That sounds pretty messed up doesn’t it? I have plenty of people in my life who love me. I know this, but I don’t…
A gigantic thank you
Just a short post from me tonight. You’ve probably heard enough this week already. But that’s what I want to talk about; how fantastic it was to be heard when I was in a lonely, cold place with nobody to talk to. Writing about what was going on for me last week is one of…
Travelling to meet my new niece
I am sitting in the airport in Frankfurt reflecting on the last few days here. There were times when I found it tricky, but for the most part spending time with my sister and my little niece was pretty relaxed. It’s always challenging for me when I’m away from home. Less so when I have…
Family: Old and new
At the moment, I’ve got one tiny new family member, and a very frail old one who are both very much on my mind. Neither of them is closely connected to the emotional difficulties I have with my family (least of all the new little one), so I find it easier to feel caring towards…
blackspotsite 