Tiny vegetables

Random post tonight. I’ve had a rough week, but it was made better by the appearance of little baby vegetables in my garden. I always get so excited when the plants I’ve tended for months start to produce flowers and fruit. Tiny beans, cucumbers, butternut squash, tomatoes and courgettes are all sprouting… I also shared…

I am sinking

I’m approaching breaking point. I need to write. To share. To feel heard and held. I am so full of everything, there is hardly any space left for air to get into my lungs. I don’t want this sensation. I have this odd sense that if I vomited I would feel better. There’s a toxic…

Intrinsically damaged and incapable

This week I have been obsessing over my stuckness. My sense of being in the middle of something with no space to move. I don’t want my past, and I can’t envision my future. But right now feels horrible and I don’t want to be in this place forever. I made a mistake in looking…

Catching up

I’ve been out of touch forĀ the past few weeks. I kept thinking of writing and not quite being able to translate anything from my brain to the page. So today I am forcing myself to write this, in the hope that I can break that deadlock. Firstly, and most importantly, I had a really great…

Standing still

Standing still familiar forces rushing, peripheral the rage of nature in surging water faces fly by and strange tendrils tempt something deeper as they pass there is nothing that can reach this empty craving the quest for contact suspended in a desert of impatience observing the green shoots of progress bursting into life but only…

The meaning of life

Oh yes I am going there and no I am notĀ inebriated. The ‘meaning of life’ discussion is one that only cropped up for me in the past in that peculiar environment that emerges in the small hours of the morning after consuming a copious amount of alcohol or drugs. Those moments were definitely part of…