I am finally home. I cannot put into words how glad I am that it is all over. The relief of it, the huge, huge relief, keeps making me burst into tears. I will write more tomorrow, but just wanted to tell you I am safely home. I’m hoping that I will have a long…
Tag: Life
Day 6 on the psych ward
The first thing I did this morning was pack my bag, even though it was still a day before going home. I am struggling to tolerate this, even though I know it’s not for much longer. I am so very grateful I don’t have to. I’m permanently in a state of slight anxiety, constantly waiting…
Family: Old and new
At the moment, I’ve got one tiny new family member, and a very frail old one who are both very much on my mind. Neither of them is closely connected to the emotional difficulties I have with my family (least of all the new little one), so I find it easier to feel caring towards…
Tiny vegetables
Random post tonight. I’ve had a rough week, but it was made better by the appearance of little baby vegetables in my garden. I always get so excited when the plants I’ve tended for months start to produce flowers and fruit. Tiny beans, cucumbers, butternut squash, tomatoes and courgettes are all sprouting… I also shared…
I am sinking
I’m approaching breaking point. I need to write. To share. To feel heard and held. I am so full of everything, there is hardly any space left for air to get into my lungs. I don’t want this sensation. I have this odd sense that if I vomited I would feel better. There’s a toxic…
Intrinsically damaged and incapable
This week I have been obsessing over my stuckness. My sense of being in the middle of something with no space to move. I don’t want my past, and I can’t envision my future. But right now feels horrible and I don’t want to be in this place forever. I made a mistake in looking…
blackspotsite 