Finally, the tiniest bit of justice

I’m guessing a lot of people won’t have heard of the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority (CICA). I certainly hadn’t until a few years ago, when I attempted to prosecute my brother for the abuse he subjected me to as a child. The police were unable to take the case to court, but they urged me…

The verdict

My wife’s uncle was convicted of child sexual abuse this week. He was tried on three counts and convicted on two of them. Yesterday he was sent to prison for 6 years. I didn’t know him well. He’s a reclusive alcoholic and I first met him when he was critically ill in intensive care. Everyone…

The police have dropped my case

I’ve not written in a while. I intended to share something about the lovely holiday I had when I returned last week, but everything has really gone downhill since. In summary; the police have decided to drop the case against my brother. I received this news the day after the holiday, so it did a…

How to report historic abuse: The first step

I wanted to write a few short, informative posts on this. When I was searching for information on how to report sexual abuse I suffered as a child, I found it difficult to find any simple, practical information. At the same time, I think it helps to hear it from someone who has done it….

The cops are interviewing my brother today

9 minutes was all it took. Just 540 seconds to go through the awful, damaging things he had done. Less than ten minutes of questioning was OK to them back then. A handful of one word answers were an adequate response to my suffering. Yesterday I spoke to the Detective who is investigating my report of…

I’m reconnecting

Hello there. I’ve been distant for a while, apologies for that. I’m going to explain why. In fact I am going to explain part of why, because the whole of why is far too big to summarise in just one post. I’ve made some major changes recently, and taken some huge steps. As said steps…

What could justice mean?

For a long while, I thought getting my brother convicted for sexually abusing me when I was little would just be about vengeance. I could only see it as my wanting to make him suffer, and I don’t want to be the kind of person that inflicts suffering on another. Even if a person deserves to suffer,…

Therapy today: Resistance

Today in therapy J came up with possibly her least helpful suggestion ever. I was telling her how overwhelmed I feel with everything at the moment and how I can’t even begin to deal with it because I don’t know where to start. In this scenario, she usually suggests we try and just ‘untangle’ a…

Closure: How do I end this chapter?

Closure is a term therapists love to throw around. One therapist I worked with in hospital told me one day, as though it was a stroke of genius, ‘What you need Laura is some closure’. I could only respond with cynicism. Of course I need closure. If I’m interpreting that in the Serenity Prayer sense…

Historic prosecution: Why I won’t get justice

I’m between a hard place and another hard place. Which I guess means I am in a hard place. Stuck. Last week felt really pivotal. I felt like I had finally got some momentum, after speaking to my therapist for the first time about the abuse I suffered as a child. I had never said…