In this moment My eyes are open and I can see so much more It’s coming in I’m letting it in I imagine my little niece laughing the force of joy that creases her face and her warmth filters into my heart I picture my wife’s early morning eyes focused so completely on mine and…
Tag: drugs
I’m back on medication. Hooray.
I’ve had to back down on my hard line ‘no meds’ policy and ask my GP to write me up for something to help my anxiety. After weeks of averaging about 3 hours sleep per night and struggling with extreme agitation in the evenings, it was hard to argue that it wasn’t needed. My moods…
The meaning of life
Oh yes I am going there and no I am not inebriated. The ‘meaning of life’ discussion is one that only cropped up for me in the past in that peculiar environment that emerges in the small hours of the morning after consuming a copious amount of alcohol or drugs. Those moments were definitely part of…
Gin and benzos
Some days coping with feelings is easier than others. Today isn’t one of those days. I cut myself. I got drunk. I took benzos. I withdrew and refused to speak to my wife. I loathe myself; the things I’ve done, what I’ve said, how I look, the insane bullshit that spins around inside my head,…
blackspotsite 