It wanders on, this war Not raging as wars are said to do But throbbing, gnawing, draining my energy in perpetuity. If I could only close my ears Make myself blind to the versions of myself Would it stop? Might there finally be quiet? I must have forgotten the calm Or perhaps I never had…
Tag: DID
Coping with a huge trigger
A little while ago something extremely triggering happened. It wasn’t one of the everyday triggers, the smells and dates and accidental interactions that I am better at managing these days. This was a monster of a trigger. I was helping an older man with something on the canal while I was out walking my dog…
Post therapy break. I’ve missed her and now I don’t want to see her.
Tomorrow I’ve got my first session back after the therapy break, and I have no idea how to feel about it. While J has been away, I’ve had a rough time, and the logical place to begin would be to tell her about that. But there’s a big part of me that doesn’t want to….
Therapy is cancelled. I’m writing instead.
I cancelled therapy today. I know that’s not productive and that the only way I’m going to feel better about my relationship with my therapist is to go and discuss it with her. But I don’t want to see her at the moment, I am feeling very hurt and the result is that I want…
Therapy today: Overwhelmed
As I start writing this, I’m already tempted to run off topic. Therapy today was tricky. I felt guarded and distant. There was a fair bit of hopelessness around. Maybe that’s why I’ve not written much about therapy recently. It’s perhaps why I haven’t written much at all. I’ve struggled to feel like there is…
Therapy today: Little Laura
Dissociation is very common in people with PTSD. Those who have experienced trauma, particularly from childhood sexual abuse, often fragment themselves. At the time of the trauma, it is a very effective defence. By dissociating yourself from events that feel like they threaten your existence, those events seem less real. The dissociation enables a victim to…
blackspotsite 