The first thing I did this morning was pack my bag, even though it was still a day before going home. I am struggling to tolerate this, even though I know it’s not for much longer. I am so very grateful I don’t have to. I’m permanently in a state of slight anxiety, constantly waiting…
Tag: diary
Day 5 on the psych ward: Some good news
I woke up in such a foul mood because once again I hardly slept. I really thought that I was so exhausted I would finally get some rest last night. I did all the right things; had a bath, read my book, listened to a guided meditation. I put on my eye mask to blot…
Day 4 on the psych ward
It feels like day 40. Now I have no running water in my room. But I did discover that there is a psychology group I can go to, so I have received something almost resembling 45 minutes of ‘treatment’ today. I chatted with a friend this morning who was admitted to a similar facility earlier…
Day 2 on the psych ward
I’d really, really like to shave my armpits. It’s amazing how fast that hair grows. I can deal with the spidery legs, but the armpits make me feel grim. I noticed this because I had a bath tonight. I had a bath because the shower in my room doesn’t work and can’t be fixed for…
Day 1 on the psych ward
For the sake of my tenuous sanity, I thought it would be a good idea to keep a diary of my (hopefully short) time in the psychiatric hospital. I’ve overdosed on Lorazepam before, so I’m familiar with the resulting amnesia and confusion. It hangs around for days and the order of events gets blurry. I…
The first time I felt suicidal
It was late on a Saturday night. I had climbed a tree and was on the phone to my therapist. She did a great job of not appearing too phased that I was up a tree in the middle of nowhere at night. This is a journal entry I wrote when I was more lucid…
blackspotsite 