Well the therapy break is almost over and I have only a few more days to get through. It’s never as horrendous as I anticipate, but it is always hard to manage without seeing J. I know I will survive it each time, but surviving is a pretty low benchmark for daily life isn’t it?…
Tag: creative
Art became rage
I got home from work at lunchtime in a shitty mood. I knew I had an empty afternoon ahead and I was fantasising about the destructive ways I could fill it. I sat for an hour or so thinking about the options and formulating dangerous plans. After a while sitting with the exhilerating thought of…
The vast unsaid
A restless being dark and powerful she is the culmination of voiceless years The vast unsaid in every feather forged from silence swallowed and quiet, rumbling rage She swirls and swoops with momentum building anticipating the opportunity to prey on me once more Embodying all that I loathe, I hate her but I am her…
First painting of 2017
In the past few weeks I finally found some motivation to start painting something again. I was happy to get it finished this afternoon. Here are a few progress shots and the final thing.
Carrying impossibly heavy body memories
The past few days have been awful. Maybe it’s because the suicidal, black moods that were normal for me haven’t been so permanent lately. I’ve still felt like I was permanently struggling, but in a different way. Normal has been anxious, hopeless, fearful, insecure. It’s still been infused with deep self-hatred, but without the active thinking…
Songwriting breakthrough: Don’t be a stranger
It’s been eight years since I wrote a song I thought was any good. But a couple of weeks ago I sat down at the piano one evening and this one almost wrote itself. You can hear a recording of it here. Don’t be a stranger I’m haunted by these echoes Shadows of a history The…
blackspotsite 