High

In this moment My eyes are open and I can see so much more It’s coming in I’m letting it in I imagine my little niece laughing the force of joy that creases her face and her warmth filters into my heart I picture my wife’s early morning eyes focused so completely on mine and…

The moment it all changed

Once, the edges of the world melted and merged And the corners scurried away, afraid to even attempt containing what sat between them. Where there had been substance, memories soaked up the space like saturated paper growing fibrous and faint. Even the ground couldn’t stand to watch, Because it knew its concrete heart would break…

I try to forget

They keep walking through while I sink into the stone cold sorrow of everything I have to lose and will continue to lose I see them moving away as I hide and try to forget Submerged in the solitude of a past existence that is everything to me but to them, unpalatable inconvenient. So they leave…

Disowned

For lonely decades I wandered unknowing and not asking Mercy in uncertainty, a refuge from the facts that threatened all I loved. Holding bitter secrets grew shame from shame until wilfully I forgot. Those lies were a poison that pulsed, insidious through my heart and veins And still, as they made me sick I inhaled…

It was never mine

Your words are transparent, in ordered lines they run with a simple message. But still I peer into their depths to find it there. Alone. The spark of your anguish. Although it stings through my thin tears, I have to watch it flicker and against my instinct leave it there, undisturbed. Because the cold truth…

Falling for tomorrow

I know how it feels to take a fall I know what it is to lose it all When the walls are closing in There’s no simple way to win So my night is day is night And every step’s a fight Please don’t say I can’t rewrite What’s gone down in black and white…

You love me for both of us

I can see you’re not a doctor there’s a light behind your eyes that dares to search beyond what’s broken, leaving space for what you find. You keep my hand in yours and you love me for the both of us you hold me in the dark while I’m fading away Your love is ever…

I will soar

Perched, precarious rushing for land or horizon A generous, cold embrace for anyone anything encountered. Pure power, surging, guttural The resolution is fraught with violent potential In a frantic search for some minute fissure Through which to pour that sliding inevitable Once it creeps, finally in motion I will soar. Photo: GollyGforce, Creative Commons.

Writing to the child within

I’ve been considering making contact with my inner child. I don’t mean metaphorically, I mean literally writing to her and allowing her to respond. At the CoDA meeting on Saturday, I got talking to someone who did some left hand / right hand writing. She said it was a revelation. She couldn’t believe what her…

Enough

Adrift in the unsaid my vision lacks the depth to pierce the gloom and discover what might be enough. This monotonous fight leaves me coiled in the cyclical silence anticipating the moment I draw the line and realise I have swallowed enough. Anger, grief, shame and love what could ever calm that raging tempest? I…

To fight

Reaching to the character concealed within the type black beneath the white coiled close, knitted tight She waits to fight. In the depths of a soul ransacked raging to be whole She’ll embrace a shattered heart and gathering she’ll start To fight. Imperceptibly, she dares inhales surfacing, laid bare shame and horror Now to care…