Finding some small comforts

I posted yesterday about this huge sadness and pain I’ve been experiencing this week. It was really lovely to have so many suggestions from you guys when I asked for advice on how to manage it. The fact that people took the time to write their thoughts for me has helped in itself. Reading through…

Surviving without therapy

I’ve got two weeks without therapy to get through. As I write this, I’m sat wrapped in a blanket that belongs to J. It’s my ‘transitional object’. I always borrow it when I’m not going to see her for a while, to help me feel like I’m still connected. The blanket is very ordinary. It’s…

It will pass

There’s a small fragment vulnerable, delicate In an adult voice, I reassure myself she won’t be abandoned this time There’s guilt, shame, sadness that touches everything loved and I have to tell myself that none of it is my fault There’s pain, powerful, enigmatic that threatens to submerge if I don’t remind myself I can…

Therapy today: Finally speaking the unspeakable

I don’t feel proud of myself very often these days. But I do today. I took a huge step in my therapy session; in trusting and in letting myself be vulnerable. A month or so ago I wrote down a first person narrative account of the sexual abuse I experienced at the hands of my…