I count

Today I count and pause to acknowledge the tension My senses convene drawn, insatiable to a magnetic fantasy I count yet it rushes like dark water to fill that chasm I ponder the potential and I count examining the balance Weighing risks Even though I count potential preys with insidious energy So I swallow and…

Therapy today: Bridging gaps

I was anxious about therapy today. After forwarding J the post I wrote after our last session, I was worried I had done the wrong thing. I sat in a bus shelter on the way to her house, deliberating whether I should go to my appointment or whether to jump on a random bus and disappear…

Complaint letter: NHS neglect in treating my psychiatric illness

Complaint regarding poor treatment received in A&E and EAU. Dear [hospital director], I am writing to complain about the neglectful treatment I received at the [hospital] recently, and the disrespect and disregard that were shown to me by the hospital’s staff. I believe that the way I was treated was in contravention of one of…

I look like a transsexual junkie with a lazy eye

That’s what my new passport photo says about me. Those booths never take a good photo do they? My mentally ill person eyebags are exaggerated, I look pale, the lighting gave me a tash and I just don’t know what I was doing with my eyes. But now I’m going to need to look like…

Failing one more time

Yesterday was all about loss. I’m not talking about the loss you feel when someone dies. This is a different kind, it’s the loss of hopes, dreams, excitement and expectation. The loss of my life before all this. I went to the yard where our old life is stored. It’s all boxed up in a…