I have tried so many times to get myself to start this post. Early August was the last time I managed to write something here. There’s been this sense of futility and utter boredom clinging to me that’s made damn sure I wasn’t even going to open the page. I am bored with myself. I’m…
Tag: attachment
Therapy break. I’m running out of steam.
I’ve reached the ‘halfway hump’ in the therapy break. It’s been just over a week since I last saw J. My next session is 8 days away. While I know logically that’s not a massive stretch of time, for parts of me it feels like forever. Up to yesterday evening, I’d been ‘managing’ by doing…
The therapeutic relationship is surely the mother of all headf**ks
My therapist thinks we have two relationships; one therapeutic and one personal. I am finding this rather confusing. Unless you’re so dissociative you completely split into different people, surely it isn’t possible to have multiple relationships with the same person? The subject of our relationship has come up again after a disaster of a Skype…
Yet another therapy crisis
For the most part, therapy has been different recently – in a good way. Before I moved onto my boat, I wrote about how scared I was that therapy wouldn’t feel the same. I was scared that the literal distance would put more emotional distance between J and I. It was distressing to think of…
Post therapy break. I’ve missed her and now I don’t want to see her.
Tomorrow I’ve got my first session back after the therapy break, and I have no idea how to feel about it. While J has been away, I’ve had a rough time, and the logical place to begin would be to tell her about that. But there’s a big part of me that doesn’t want to….
The breaks don’t get any easier
I’m a week in and struggling with the therapy break. Yeah, I know, shocker right? They’re usually a breeze… I always end up hoping each time that it might get easier. So far, after 3 years, I can’t say it has. It’s definitely different, but it still feels like an endurance test every time. In…
blackspotsite 