Escape fantasy

The fantasy of escape takes up a lot of space in my imagination. This borderline obsession has resided in me for at least three years. I’ve made non-committal efforts to dislodge it, and had short-lived success here and there. Those little pushes aren’t significant though, because in truth, I know it will always be a…

Once again a victim

I’m not religious. I don’t believe in some omnipresent being that plans out our lives for us and looks down at what we’re doing each day. But I often get this cynical feeling that maybe there is someone in control of all this, and maybe whoever that is loves to test me. That sounds egotistical…

Going nowhere

Since moving onto our boat, nothing has really gone to plan and I’m finding it hard to feel like this change was a good idea. I took the first three weeks off work to have a holiday, but nothing about this so far feels like a holiday at all. There have been a series of…

Therapy is suddenly unfamiliar

For the first time since university, I am sat in a launderette impatiently watching the minutes tick down on the machine that I hope isn’t wrecking all our clothes. This is the first chance I’ve had to do some writing in a few days, so although it’s noisy here and uncomfortable I’m going to attempt…

Newsflash: This week I felt good about therapy

Today I am 100 days sober. I am 10 days from leaving the job I’ve done for nearly 7 years. And in 12 days I will be leaving the life I know behind and starting out on my boat. Oh and I shouldn’t forget to mention, we’re 3 days into a mini Siberian winter (but…

I’m suddenly feeling a lot less brave

It’s just over 2 weeks to go now until my wife and I vacate our house and move our lives onto the water, and it’s all beginning to feel very real. Fear is setting in. I want to go. I am excited about all the new challenges and adventures living on a boat will bring….