My week is panning out to be full on and I’m not coping well with that idea. A few days ago I wrote about needing to fill time in order to avoid sinking into dark and destructive thoughts. The problem is, I’m running out of energy and now I am faced with a load of…
Tag: Alcoholism
I wanted it to end
Things got too much for me again this week. Everyone was complimenting me on how well I had handled the news that the police were dropping my case. I was split about it; on the one hand I could see that and agree with them, while on the other I wanted so badly to self-destruct….
55 days sober
One day I won’t feel the need to do this ridiculous counting anymore. For now, I know I need to count, to reinforce how many days I have dragged myself through without using alcohol. It isn’t a pat-on-the-back thing. I don’t feel as though I’ve achieved anything other than keeping myself alive lately. And most…
35 days sober
And so the counting continues. When I got to 100 days a while ago, I thought I could begin to move beyond the ‘one day at a time’ mentality. But as soon as I thought I’d cracked it, I went and had a drink. It’s probably self-sabotage, but there were a number of other factors…
Therapy yesterday: I got drunk
I couldn’t write yesterday about my therapy session. It was so horrible I went to the pub afterwards and when I got home the vodka had numbed me enough that I just went to sleep. So I’ve thrown away over 100 days of sobriety. And I self harmed too. My session with J was so…
100 days sober
Today is my 100th day of sobriety. I feel like crap, but I want to mark the milestone. I painted this bird and a few other bits and pieces this weekend, so I guess they can be commemorative. This is the longest I have been sober in years. And gradually, ever so gradually, not drinking is…
blackspotsite 