Not quite a holiday

Right now I am in the middle of what has turned out to be a very challenging ‘holiday’. I used the inverted commas, because although I am in another country, and not at work, I don’t feel at all relaxed. Almost a year ago, my sister moved to Germany. We’ve kept in touch on Skype,…

Something new: Working with my body

I’ve started having some reflexology. J and I recognised a very long time ago that I have a lot of stuckness in my body. Not only feelings, but body memories from the time I was abused. Even though I knew this, I didn’t feel ready to do any body based therapy. It wasn’t that I…

Ending the week in a better place

It’s been another heavy week. Put simply; I have been a mess. I’ve been distracted, irritable, forgetful and agitated. I had a few moments of being overcome with sadness and sobbing my heart out for no clear reason. (One of these moments was while trying to eat some mashed potato, which just ended up revoltingly…

Insecurity and another therapy disaster

I’m listening to a hefty thunderstorm as I type this. It’s the middle of the night. I’m wrapped in a blanket on my sofa, with my dog asleep in my lap. She came to me for protection from the storm. It’s nice to be able to give her that. I love that she seeks me…

The verdict

My wife’s uncle was convicted of child sexual abuse this week. He was tried on three counts and convicted on two of them. Yesterday he was sent to prison for 6 years. I didn’t know him well. He’s a reclusive alcoholic and I first met him when he was critically ill in intensive care. Everyone…

Can I wait?

Today I am the eye of the storm. A powerful whirlwind of debris and chaos circumvents me. And I am stood, motionless in the middle. I’m planted in this place of inert observation. It’s not possible to stop the force, and I hold myself back from stepping into it. With my feet planted firmly on…