Defeated in my quest to be drug free

Yesterday I had to admit defeat and go on new antidepressants. It’s not something I wanted and I feel deeply disappointed that I couldn’t manage without them. So today I have begun another cycle of side effects and dose increases and wondering whether any of it is working. I stopped taking Mirtazipine at the start…

Retreating from a retreat…

When I was little and something went wrong, my dad always said something like, ‘it’s taking part that counts’, or maybe, ‘it’s character-building’. Well I recently failed at going on a retreat. That’s a new one. I go to weekly CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) meetings. Every Saturday, I run a small, one hour meeting for women…

The meaning of life

Oh yes I am going there and no I am not inebriated. The ‘meaning of life’ discussion is one that only cropped up for me in the past in that peculiar environment that emerges in the small hours of the morning after consuming a copious amount of alcohol or drugs. Those moments were definitely part of…

Nostalgic for a place where my pain belonged

In the past few weeks, I’ve felt like each time the spring sunshine warmed me, it also drenched me in nostalgia. Fewer words more aptly describe a feeling than this one. Nostalgia is about more than recollection; it is about the bittersweet nature of specific memories. I’m nerdy about language, so out of curiosity I…

Some good news

I think I am possibly the only person who can be given a pay rise and not feel good about it. Today I got a salary increase, and my annual bonus was decent enough. It’s not that I’m greedy and was hoping for a whole lot more. I just didn’t feel happy about it. At…

Choices: Any advice on Vortioxetine / Brintellix?

Quick question; does anyone have any experience with Vortioxetine? It’s also known as Brintellix, and Trintellix. God knows why they give antidepressants such ridiculous names. I almost want to avoid it purely for the fact that they’ve tried to make it sound bright and shiny… I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and he seems to be…