Tears

on

I’ve just got home from therapy and I’m feeling fragile. I can’t stop myself from crying. I cried in the session, then while I cycled home, and I’m still tearful as I write this. I don’t know why this has all come up now.

I very rarely get tearful. But it’s really hard to cope with feeling like this when I’m on my own. My wife doesn’t get home from work for another hour. I don’t feel suicidal. I don’t feel like self-harming. I just want someone to hold me while I feel like this, and tell me that it is going to pass.

I want to be kept safe while whatever pain this is moves through me.

It’s such a deep and wrenching sadness.

 

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12 Comments Add yours

  1. Just Me says:

    It’s going to pass! Take deep breaths….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura says:

      Thank you for the reassurance

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so good to get the tears out even though it feels awful to feel so sad. I hope it passes soon

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura says:

      thanks for stopping to comment

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Iggy says:

    I know that feeling and I am so sorry that you had to endure it. I hope it passes soon, and I hope you get the embrace that you need.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura says:

      Thanks. It was a relief when my wife got home. She does the best hugs – although it’s so hot here it’s hard to enjoy them at the moment!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Do you think that preparing that letter for your psychiatrist has anything to do with how you’re feeling? It’s a kind of closure, but it is also admitting to yourself that someone whom you were relying on has failed you and not been willing or able to provide the care and compassion you need.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura says:

      I think that has definitely brought a lot up for me. I’m posting that letter today, and also having my last session with J for 2 weeks as she is going on holiday. And my sister sent me a video of my forthcoming niece kicking in her belly yesterday. For some reason that made me tearful whenever I thought about it. It feels like there is an awful lot around.

      Like

  5. Hugs. I am so sorry. I hope it didn’t feel as long as it was.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura says:

      Thanks. Hugs are always appreciated!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. dbest1ishere says:

    Hang in there……it will pass….it may not seem like it will but it does.

    Liked by 1 person

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