Gin and benzos

Some days coping with feelings is easier than others. Today isn’t one of those days. I cut myself. I got drunk. I took benzos. I withdrew and refused to speak to my wife.

I loathe myself; the things I’ve done, what I’ve said, how I look, the insane bullshit that spins around inside my head, the memories, anger and shame I carry around with me all day every day.

I am pitied. Nobody actually wants or needs me. I drag people down and they’d be better off without me. I am tired of hurting, struggling, desperately trying to find something to cling on to. I’m tired of questioning everyone and everything I have.

I am completely hopeless.

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m rooting for you and so are your 392 followers!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Rayne says:

    I know this might not make a difference, but I’m sending you a hug.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Laura says:

    Thanks all for the support.

    Like

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