I’ve been considering making contact with my inner child. I don’t mean metaphorically, I mean literally writing to her and allowing her to respond. At the CoDA meeting on Saturday, I got talking to someone who did some left hand / right hand writing. She said it was a revelation. She couldn’t believe what her left hand had to say.

If that all sounds nonsensical, let me explain. The idea is that we strengthen our communication with our inner child, by letting him/her speak in his/her own voice. If your right hand is dominant (and visa versa), you use this hand to write a question from your adult self, for the child to answer. Then switch the pen to your non-dominant hand and let the child reply. Don’t think too hard on it. Don’t edit or censor yourself.

I read something this morning that also suggested establishing a statement of your positive intention. I’m currently not feeling warm enough to my younger self to do this, but I suppose I might like to in time. I used to practice yoga every morning and recite a short mantra. It really had an impact repeating those words every day.

Inspired by the passage I read this morning, I wrote this about my little self.

Little Laura was a beautiful, happy girl who was full of love. Her innocence and childishness were precious. It is not okay that they were taken from her. It is not okay that she was treated in a way that made her feel disgusting, defective and unlovable. I am so sorry that little Laura felt so bad and thought all the problems in the family were her fault. I am now willing to love little Laura, to have compassion for that free spirited child – to own her, rescue her and make her feel safe. 

When I read it back, I feel sad, but still disconnected from her. I can be sympathetic if I think of her as someone else, but that sort of defeats the object. So perhaps I’ll try the left and right writing and see where that takes me.

Photo: Eamonn O Muiri, Creative Commons.