I’m going on my first weekend retreat today. Apparently the itinerary will ‘detox’ my mind. I reckon they’ve got their work cut out there. Do you think they do a money back guarantee if you’re still a fucked up neurotic accident waiting to happen when you leave?
Of course my expectations aren’t quite that high. As I wrote about yesterday, I’ve been in therapy for pretty much a year now. That’s included a 10 week psychiatric inpatient stay where I was lucky enough to attend (mostly) excellent group therapy every day. So if this weekend cleanses my self-destructive, highly self-critical and traumatised mind, maybe I should be asking for my money back from those guys instead?
On the topic of money, I am thinking about looking for some financial compensation from my arsehole brother. After all, this breakdown was his fault. He was the one who traumatised me. He took advantage of me when he was 16 and I was just 11. My parents make excuses for him; saying he was a ‘young’ sixteen, not much more than a child. That’s how he got away with it.
If I calculate what I’ve lost in earnings this year and spent on therapy, the bill comes to over £15,000. That’s not even starting to put a price on the pain and suffering myself and by extension, my wife have gone through. That makes me angry. Actually, it makes me livid. I could be displacing my anger from the general injustice of what happened, but thinking about what we’ve endured this year makes me absolutely furious. Perhaps I should send him an invoice…