blackspotsite

PTSD and my failing career

My annual performance review came around today. Work isn’t the most important thing in my life, but I want to do well at it. I want to be respected and held in high regard by my colleagues. We have this appraisal process that involves collating anonymous feedback from people you work with. We rate each…

I made my therapist want to growl

Those were her words, not mine. Apparently I frustrated J to the point that she wanted to growl at me today. It’s been a damp, grey, gloomy day and I just felt like hiding. I was withdrawn and kept myself distant from her. And she didn’t appreciate it. Basically, I feel really overwhelmed. These are…

4 Reasons I hate antidepressants

Originally posted on blackspotsite:
Here’s a post for the medicated many out there. I know a fair few of my readers can empathise with how crappy it is taking antidepressants. These drugs change you. They alter how your brain chemistry operates and that’s pretty scary right? Before my breakdown, I was totally against them. And although…

Babies

There are three kinds of babies in my life right now; babies that make me happy, babies that make me miserable, and possible babies that aren’t around yet. I’m reached an age at which the people I spend time with are spawning. We’re all in our 30s and they’re settling down. Being this age also…

I am ashamed

Shame is a powerful force. It lingers and spreads, evolving unnoticed until it touches everything. Shame carves a path that annihilates whatever is in its way. And once it’s got a hold, it takes an iron will to overcome it. Wouldn’t it be nice to remember a time without shame? Those hapless days without concern…

I am still here

I’ve been scared of this blank page it stares accusingly at me asking why I’ve neglected the space the room to breathe that it offers It wants me to open my mind and let my fingers tell their secrets spilling my soul into the empty space and calling out to anyone who wanders by I…